Im so fat :(

I am such a fatty. Thats not even an exaggeration. Its embarrassing. I want to cry. My boyfriend is almost a foot taller than me and only weighs 3 more pounds than I do. I've asked a personal trainer to give me some sort of meal plan, but she told me I wasnt eating enough. I dont want to make myself eat when i'm not hungry. Thats asking for an eating disorder, dontcha think? I'm just tired of being fat. I need to lose about 55 pounds to be concidered normal according to the bmi. Help Me. Supplements. Meal Plans. Exercise Routines. anything. I'm desperate. :( weighing 215 pounds is not fun :'''( This is the only picture I could find of me alone thats a body shot.